Understanding a Father’s Rights in a Military Divorce

If you are a father going through a military divorce it is important for you to understand your rights.  Many couples make the false assumption that the mother always gets the kids and has the right to do whatever she wants with them.  Do to this misconception, many fathers don’t even try to fight for custody even if they do want to spend time with their children.  If you are in this situation, here are facts that you need to know:

Most courts believe kids should spend time with both parents.
This is unlike the common belief that used to be prevalent in the court system.  No longer is it thought that kids only need their mother.  To the contrary, the court will try to ensure that kids grow up with the influence of both parents.  This is beneficial to fathers because even if the mother attempts to maintain full custody with limited visitation rights if you fight, the court will probably rule in your favor to some degree.  The key is that you have to present a parenting plan that you want so that the court can decide between them. 

Things you need to prove.

If you are going after full or partial custody of your children, it is important to establish several things.  This is true if you are going through a military divorce or civilian divorce.  You will want to prove that you have stable employment and can provide for the needs of the children financially.  If you are in the military, this becomes easier to do but in both cases, pay stubs are typically enough to demonstrate employment.  You will also want to demonstrate that you have stable housing for the children within their current school district.  If you want to take them out of their school district, it becomes a relocation case.  

As a father trying to keep custody of the children, it is best if you can remain in the house you have been living in as a family or can find something in the same neighborhood.  While the natural reaction may be to move far away from your ex, moving creates a less stable environment in the courts eyes and could work against you.

It also helps if you can demonstrate a solid support system.  This could be family, friends, your church group, etc.  A support system is important when raising children and if your ex has it, but you don’t, this could make it more difficult to gain full custody.  It shouldn’t, however, influence your ability to maintain joint custody. 

Child support

When representing clients going through a military divorce, we also work to ensure that any child support agreements are fair and can be lived with.  This could be challenging if one spouse wasn’t working during the marriage.  In these instances, you may have one child support agreement at the beginning of the divorce and go back to have it renegotiated at a later date to reflect a lesser amount, once they become employed.  

Remember that if you are a father going through a military divorce, you have just as many rights as the mother does.  To learn more, call and schedule your consultation. 

What Happens to Your Pets in a Military Divorce?

If you are going through a military divorce, it can be a complicated process both emotionally and practically.  There are many issues that will be decided during your divorce proceedings including how your assets will be divided, who gets to keep the house, and what happens with your child custody arrangements.

  

For members of the military, this entire process can be far more complicated because one spouse may want to move out of state in order to go back home.  Additionally, if one person is deployed the entire proceedings may need to be stayed until they get stateside.  With the variety of issues that can take place, we recommend working with an attorney that is experienced at working with military members and their families. 

Many people ask us what will happen to their pets in a military divorce.  Pets are members of the family but are not treated by the courts like children.  This means that the judge is under no obligation to consider how to divide “custody”.  Instead, a pet is typically treated as an asset would be. In other words, your pet could be treated like a car or the house.  During trial, the judge can make a binding ruling over who will keep your pet and what will happen to them. 

This is a risk because the judge will also be deciding what happens to all of your assets, your debts, your home and your children.  This is a lot to review and make a decision on, so there is no guarantee that they will spend the amount of time it will take to fully understand the relationship you have with your pet and why it is so important to you that you maintain that relationship.  

It is our job to prove the bond that you have with your pet and that you have been their primary caregiver.  We can help to demonstrate this by proving who took them to the vet and the groomers, who spent the most time with them, purchased them, etc.  The more information you can give us, the better as it will help us to build your case. After hearing the facts, the judge will decide who gets to keep your family pet. 

When handing a military divorce, with or without pets, we recommend that you try to mediate whenever possible.  This is non-binding negotiation with both parties and their attorneys.  You can be in separate rooms, and the negotiations can go back and forth while assets are divided, custody is determined, and the pets are discussed. The reason we recommend trying mediation is that you have more control over what happens that when you go to court.  You may not get exactly what you want, but you have the opportunity to compromise.  For example, we may be able to arrange a pet sharing schedule or your ex may agree to give up your pet if they get something else in exchange.  

To learn more or to get help, give us a call. 

A Military Divorce Can Become Complicated Quickly

If you are going through a military divorce, keep in mind that it will likely be more complicated than a civilian one, simply because of the various issues at play.  Active duty military members and their family face specific challenges that are unique; for example, when one spouse is on deployment another can still file for divorce. It becomes incredibly difficult to deal with a divorce from thousands of miles away where communication may be limited.

Are you currently deployed?

This puts you at a distinct disadvantage.  When someone files for divorce, the clock starts ticking on certain timeline issues and without a lawyer representing you, there may be no one local to ask for the process to be stopped or stayed pending their return.  JAG will sometimes get involved, but they are not going to represent you in divorce court.  You still need an experienced divorce lawyer to protect your interests.

Hiring an attorney is especially important if you are facing a military divorce and have children.  In this scenario, you need an advocate to present your side and how you are involved in caring for your children when you are home.  Oftentimes, active duty military members are portrayed by the other side as unengaged when this is simply not the case.  Being in the military is your job, and like any job, it does not diminish how you feel about your children.  Your responsibilities for work are simply different than if you had a 9-to-5 job.  We understand this and are experts at making a case for why you should still have joint custody of your children.

Dividing Finances

There are additional financial considerations that active duty military members and their spouse must consider.  When calculating things like child support, there are different forms of compensation that inexperienced lawyers don’t know how to sort through.  Things like housing allowances and combat pay need to be taken into consideration, and we know how to do so, when working with either party in a divorce.   Additionally, we can help to negotiate how things like retirement will be split up.

Where will you live?

This is a question that comes up frequently in a military divorce.  Typically, families move around a lot, but simply because you are stationed at a base, doesn’t mean that the divorcing spouse will want to stay there.  If you don’t have kids – it doesn’t matter.  Both parties are free to live where they choose.  If, however, you have children they will not be allowed to leave the state permanently without the courts consent.  An order of relocation will need to be filed as part of the divorce process and the judge will decide whether or not to grant it.  If the service member is obligated to stay stationed at a base for a period of time following the divorce, this can become even more complicated.

We are experienced with representing both service members and their spouses in a military divorce.  To get advice from an expert attorney, schedule your consultation today.